Confessions of an Excuse-Making Soda Addict

From the author of "Presumptual":

You may remember that my "new years resolution" was to, above other things, quit soda (or pop, coke, or soda water as it is sometimes referred to as, but really isn't).

To make a short story long...

I DID IT! I QUIT SODA!

Except... for the five soda's I've had since the resolution was made. You see I haven't quite figured out how to tell my employer and he keeps giving soda at break time and the other two times I, well...

Rules about resolution making:

1. Resolutions Require Exceptions (the more the merrier)

Exceptions to My Soda Quiting Resolution:

A. If someone doesn't know about your resolution and they have already bought/poured some soda for you and you think it would cause them pain for you to not drink the soda (or if it happens to be Root Bear - my personal favorite), drink the soda.

B. If there is nothing else to drink and you are about to become dehydrated to the point of death.

C. If someone forces you to drink the stuff at gun point.

D. If someone else will be killed or caused physical pain on the even that you do not drink some soda.

E. Seltzer Water (used in pretty much in all of the non-alcoholic punches in existence) is not considered by Trent Williams to be soda (even though the major ingredient is carbonated water).

I hope you enjoy insanity and zaniness, er I mean, creativity -yeah thats what it is: creativity - as much as I do (If not let me know and I'll go back to those "lovely" intellectual articles.)

Your Friendly Neighborhood Trent Williams